so h.u.m HALLELUJAH. [Abby] « Thread Started on Feb 17, 2007, 2:36am »
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At this point there was only one thing to be grateful for. She was alive, Abby hadn't just keeled over and died on him, left him with the blame and banished him from the family for eternity. Little sister was still here, though Jake hadn't seen her since the accident. He still remembered the days before, vaguely. That was about all he remembered, everything since her falling to the ground was a blur of self loathing and inner struggle. Glares in the hallways, shoves, scorn. He'd seen it all in the last few days and if he'd thought his life was bad before this all went down, he hadn't seen anything yet. Jacob Nathan Stevens was public enemy number one all of the sudden and he felt like he was in some badly dubbed bibliography, starring him. The worst part of the entire thing was that he knew this wasn't all going to go away like everything else in his past did.
Some how, some way, some day- he was going to have to face this head on and tell her he was sorry. Apologize, a million times until his mouth hurt and he was on her knees at her feet. She was going to be pale, he knew that when he took his first steps towards the hospital. She was going to be small, weak, scrawny... the exact opposite of how he liked to see her. That he remembered when he was getting on the bus to go. Yet he knew he had to go there anyways, come in her room. Hopefully she didn't have a relapse (or whatever it was they called it) when he came in, just at the sight of him after what he'd done. Another problem, Jake didn't quite know what he did, more so he didn't want to admit that his little anger problem was still in existance and he'd taken his issues out on his sister... what person would want to admit that? When he got off the bus and headed for the doors of the hospital he knew he was probably not going to be wanted there.
Home was the worst place to be at this point, even sitting in the hospital with his ill sister, who probably hated him, would be better then going back to the dead silence of the house. Back to his quiet room where he could feel people talking about him, where he knew that he'd ruptured the entire families lives and ruined everything, once more. This sort of thing happened every year, he did something wrong and embarassed the entire family, they talked about him, talked about getting him sorted out, 'setting him straight'. It never came to anything, the threats he'd received regarding boot camp when he was thirteen still hadn't come through. Punishment would never come and in a way that was just as bad. The silence was worse then any noise, even yelling, could be.
The nurse pointed him in the right direction and gave him the room number (with a very dissaproving look on her face), warning him not to rile her up too much. Jake quietly pointed out, "I'm her brother," with a half choked voice, not in the mood to make his usual joke, or at least laugh at the thought. At this point he hardly felt he'd be able to talk to his sister, let alone be in the same room as her. With the quizzical look on the nurses face, Jake left and climbed the stairs. It hardly took him any time at all to find her room, notched into a quiet part of the hospital. He didn't bother to knock, it would probably just shock her more, with the loud noise. Pushing the door open gently while taking a deep breath, he stared out the window instead of making eye contact.
I can't commit to a thing. Be it HEART or HOSPITAL.
Abby Stevens East 9 ----->Miss. Hideaway ---->The Shy girl member is offline
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 63 Karma: 0
Re: so h.u.m HALLELUJAH. [Abby] « Reply #1 on Feb 17, 2007, 3:17am »
Guilt, the only thing that was felt inside of her mind was pure guilt for not telling people that there was something wrong with her heart. Nothing could change how much that hurt, to know that your secrets got right back at you and bit you right on the butt. She for awhile, didn't feel like she deserved to live, it didn't seem right to make her brother go through all of the pain when it wasn't completely his fault. Sure, it was his fault that he had started to yell at her, but her own that she yelled right back, then ran away from him, her falling on to the ground soon afterward. She couldn't remember anything that had happened after that argument, it was all just a mist that she just could see through. This was not good at all, but maybe something would come out of this, something good, but she had no idea what could be good about this.
The appearance that she had was weak, pale, and the nurses had just put off her breathing mask not very long ago, her heart rate being watched constantly by the doctors. She thought about what she would say to Jake as he arrived there, not really making her jump, just saddening her as she saw his downhearted expression. The words that she wanted to speak seemed to be tuck on her tongue, each word a struggle to say as she looked at her brother, on the verge of tears. Her actions spoke more than words ever could, showing Jake how weak she really felt now, how she felt that she could disappear at any second. "Hey bro." The voice was soft, just barely coming out of her lips, all that she cared about though was talking to her brother Jake and nothing else.
What did Lucky think about all of this? Was he never going to trust her ever again with anything just because of this one mistake? More guilt filled her as she looked around the room with her eyes, since the doctors told her not to move too much, at least until she seemed to be in better condition. Something strange was a foot though, because she was glad to see the person that had yelled at her, they seemed like an angel compared too all the doctors with all the bad news. "How is everybody?" Ah yes, her kindness was already coming back out of her, even when she was stuck in a hospital bed, wondering when she would escape this prison. There would be nothing better than to see her friends outside of this hospital where she felt free, and not caged like this.
One of the nurses glanced at her, giving her a small smile as they passed by her to check on other people that were in the room, checking different things off with the clipboard on their hands. "How's it like on the outside?" It probably wasn't best to ask Jake about that since everybody thought that what had happened was all his fault probably. It would have been great if none of this had ever happened, like she could rewind it back to the time they started the argument so she wouldn't have ran off. She took a sip of a water that was given to her by a nurse and then it was placed on to the table while she let silence sink in as she waited for her brother to speak.
Re: so h.u.m HALLELUJAH. [Abby] « Reply #2 on Feb 17, 2007, 2:50pm »
Hospitals never rubbed off well on Jake, the white walls were getting to him already and the sounds of stirring patients and grim relatives were so minimal that he almost felt he was the only one there, that everybody here was already dead. When he thought about what his sister went through, with her heart condition, he felt like a selfish little bastard. Never having had any kind of physical ailment, Jake had only been to the hospital when he did something incredibly stupid and broke something, but then it was all fixed up in just a few weeks. Nothing like this had ever happened to him and he didn't know what he should do. Blane was something people could easily trust Jacob with, because he accepted it. Laying it on others wasn't his gig, if he'd done something, he'd fess up and admit to it. In this case, he hadn't done it all himself, at least that was what Abby thought. One hundred percent of the problem was him, in Jake's eyes. Yelling at her hadn't been necessary... and chasing her? That was just stupid.
Seeing Abby again made him feel weak at the knees, like he should slump to the floor and beg God to smite him now, instead of letting him see his sibling suffer. Plenty of times it had seemed that he and Abby weren't very close, that they didn't take care of each other or occupy themselves with each others problems, but that wasn't the case for Jake. She was his little sister and as such he had to take care of her. This, wasn't taking care of her. He'd practically killed her. Stopping dead just outside the curtain or her seperate 'room' when he saw her, Jake swallowed uneasily and brushed a hand back through his hair, unable to take his eyes off the heart monitor for awhile, not wanting to see his sister cry. What shocked him the most was that she didn't seem to be crying because he was here, that wasn't it, she wasn't scared. It was something else.
Swallowing once again before closing the curtain gently behind him, at least halfway closed, Jake moved over to the plastic chair by her bed and sat down, trying to keep himself from looking too pathetic. Acting like some deep, dark, depressed person wasn't going to help his sister right now, because he could see how she was feeling, finally. Guilty. There was no reason for her to feel that way, at all. Normally Jake was the one in the house that was bouncing off the walls or making the wrong comments at the wrong times. Right now he was so subdued that it might of been almost frightening, but it didn't seem right to be all smiles in a hospital, which was how he usually was. For the moment he felt he couldn't make any response to her at all, even as she spoke the words flew right over his head and he just kept watching the monitor next to her bed, watched the line climb and fall, over and over. When the nurse moved into the area he finally snapped out of his daze.
Her next question brought back memories of the past two things she said and he finally turned his attention to her and replied, resting one arm on the bed next to her as he spoke. Sitting normally never seemed to work with Jake, so to keep himself from being too odd in the hard chair he put one foot on the edge and let his knee crunch up instead. "Hey Abby... The entire school misses you, everybody is worried about you, but they're okay. Just not sleeping much..." Jake responded to the first two questions and tried to swallow down his own feelings about the people around him while he was talking to Abby. "Well, a lot of stuff happened after the rave... School's kind of a mess. Everybody thinks all the Easts are dropping like flies. But it's okay too, I guess. Nothing you need to worry about. How're you... are things okay?" Jake questioned, still not able to get his sorry out. "Has everybody come to visit?"
I can't commit to a thing. Be it HEART or HOSPITAL.
Abby Stevens East 9 ----->Miss. Hideaway ---->The Shy girl member is offline
Joined: Feb 2007 Gender: Female Posts: 63 Karma: 0
Re: so h.u.m HALLELUJAH. [Abby] « Reply #3 on Feb 24, 2007, 7:17pm »
If you would have told her that Jake was going to be like the way he was right at that moment, she wouldn't have ever believed it without proper evidence leaning towards that truth. There was nothing that seemed to change the clock, nothing that changed the fact that she was there, with her brother as pal as the sheets on the hospital bed. She thought that she was going to be OK, and she had told no one the truth, which could have saved her from being there right at that moment, but she sucked it up. Her brother needed to know that he was forgiven even though he had never said sorry, she knew that he probably felt terrible about the whole argument, because she did too. "I forgive you." The voice was gentle as the nurses and other people of the hospital staff went along on their own business since the clock was ticking for other people's lives, not just her own.
The memories of the past would never be forgotten, but if they both just said sorry for what the two of them had done, then they could get through this together. She listened to her brother, nodding slightly as he explained all of the things that were going on in the outside world, which to her seemed to be so messed up. People missed her thought, and she wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing, since sometimes being missed meant that they cared about you a lot. Some of the people that missed her probably barely even knew her, but just heard what had happened, and then saw it was another East with the problem and started to morn the near death experience. "Well, it's good that I am missed I guess." Shrugging slightly, she didn't know if she wanted to be missed by a ton of people or not, although she probably would never be able to fix that since she had got her grand amount of fame from all of this.
At him asking that question she frowned a little bit, no one had really come to visit, but then again the nurse hadn't let anyone come in at all until today, which meant that people would probably be flooding into the hospital the very next day. Hopefully Jake would understand why the nurses hadn't let anyone in for awhile since it was for the safety of her heart and for the other people in Loserville. "They haven't let any visitors in until today." Smiling fatly, she took another look around the very room that she just couldn't stand, but she did what she was told by remaining calm the whole time. There was really nothing else to be said about that, but she knew that she would need to ask him about what other people thought about him now. Probably not too likely since their argument had been the very thing that had made her want to run, causing her to end up in that very bed.
Her mind was trying to think of the right words to say to ask the question about how people were treating him and the rest of the family at school since she wanted them to be treated kindly. She didn't even care if Jake was the one at fault for this since he was her brother, and even though they weren't as close as they should be they were still brother and sister. If that wasn't enough for people to understand, then the world didn't make any sense at all anymore, not even in the slightest. "How are they treating you guys?" She knew that he would be able to tell what he meant by that since the family of Stevens were mostly Easts, except for Brooke. All that she wondered was why her eldest brother still hadn't come to visit her, and it also made her wonder if he even really cared about her at all.
Re: so h.u.m HALLELUJAH. [Abby] « Reply #4 on Feb 24, 2007, 10:57pm »
Seeing Jake as he was could only really be a message from God, because calm just wasn't a word that was easily mixed in amongst Jake's personality. Many times he'd been accused of being ADD, but it wasn't that he didn't pay attention. Jake paid attention just fine, his problems came when he wanted to be distracted (normally this was by people, his tendancy to be a social butterfly caused him to want a lot of things going on around him) and seeked for companionship when he was already occupied with something else. For the moment, his mind was completely set. If he focused hard enough it was normally easy for him to keep his goal in mind. Seeing his sister like this made focusing second nature. Forgiveness hit his ears and the first look on his face was confusion, wondering why in the world she'd ever forgive him. Half of him wanted to ask, but the other part knew it was best not to. Instead he nodded and took a deep breath, glad to hear that more then anything.
"Of course it's good that you're missed, Ab. So many people miss you, if I was you, I'd be flattered," Jake acknowledged. Of course, being Jake and a lover of attention, his opinion on this easily differentiated from hers. Compared to Abby it was like Jake needed attention, though he didn't necessarily seek it either. Going with the flow usually got him what attention he needed and he could easily survive a conversation where he wasn't so much as acknowledged. To Jake, being missed was always a good sign. Thinking about the possible negative effects would never dawn on him, he never seemed to recognize the bad in people until it was far too late. Often enough he was walked over or taken advantage of and he didn't even notice it. That was the disadvantage of being trusting. On the upside, being trusting also gained you a lot more friends and if you tried to believe the world was actually a good place, you slept much easier at night.
Had Jake known he was the first visitor, he wouldn't of come, sadly. For the last few days he'd been building up the courage to come see her, figuring she'd gotten to see the rest of the family already and that her heart was stable. Hearing those words stunned him a bit for a second and his eyes widened for a very brief moment, before he slumped in his seat. He'd thought he was late in coming and she'd be either upset he came or upset he'd come so late, but if he really was the first visitor... well, he supposed that looked good on his brotherly record and he was glad to be there for her. Blinking as he thought for a moment, he realized that she'd probably been all alone for days. Never having really been in the hospital, Jake didn't know what that was like. For a very daredevilish boy, he hadn't been in the hospital much at all. This could only be attributed to incredible good fortune. "So you've been all alone? I hope you at least had TV or crossword puzzles," Jake joked lightly.
Treatment wasn't something he'd expected to ge into when he came to visit his sister. For one, he hadn't really expected her to be awake. What he'd planned to do was sit around for awhile and say his sorries to unlistening ears, maybe leave a note... That was it. Instead he'd gotten an awake and very ill Abby, but it was still his sister and he'd still managed to apologize with her help. Accent on the help part, like many guys, sorries were not Jake's strong point. Half laughing with her question, Jake crossed his legs slightly and messed up his hair with one hand as he responded. "We're the last thing you have to worry about right now, Abby. It's fine. A bit rough, but the rest of the families got it good. Everything'll clear up," Jake spoke casually, though in his head he certainly didn't feel that way. At this point he just didn't want to worry his little sister.
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